from the blog that is, I think I should finally write an official update. What do you think? :o)
So, as some of you know, Josh and I are expecting our second baby. And it is not through adoption as we planned, I am pregnant. I know, right? I think I am finally out of the state of shock and awe that I have been in and can finally announce that I am doing well. So is baby. I am about 14 weeks pregnant and we couldn't be more excited.
Now to the fun/maybe a little sassy/but oh so important part. And I am just going to apologize in advance, but it is something that I feel really needs to be said. What I want to address are some of the most said comments I have gotten since starting to tell people that we are expecting (after all the craziness that we went through to have Madelyn). First of all let me be clear, I did NOTHING to make this pregnancy happen (expect the obvious and even that is a huge question mark...) God blessed us with this baby. Period. I did not stop thinking about having a baby, I didn't all of a sudden give things up to God and start trusting Him, and I certainly did not start the adoption process with the underlying hope that I would some how, some day still get pregnant. No. In fact, Josh and I felt pretty certain that we were doing what God called us to do, and that was grow our family through adoption. We were unclear what that specifically looked like in our life when we found out we were expecting, but we were pushing forward on the adoption front and felt positive about it. And as someone that has gone through all the infertility ups and downs it is important for me to state, especially to all of you have no idea what it is like to go through something like that, that even though our family's story is now very similar to lots of other peoples, it is not everyone's story. So minimizing what we are experiencing by saying that you hear our story all the time does nothing to congratulate me. In fact it frustrates me for many reasons. Lots of people are cured of cancer, but does that make it less exciting when one more is cured. No, we should rejoice with people always and not just say, "Yeah, you hear that all the time." Plus, when I was trying to get pregnant the first time I had people tell me those stories over and over again, and I am not sure what they intended to accomplish. I heard, "So and so adopted/started to adopt/got the adoption paperwork sent in and then got pregnant." I had no idea how to handle that comment. Were they telling me to start the adoption process and I would get pregnant? I know many people who have adopted kids and never got pregnant. So, I was confused and felt even worse about my situation. Those type of statements, along with just let go and let God, or whatever else you hear, just make you feel like you are doing something wrong. That you are doing something that is keeping God from blessing you. Similarly it says to me that the people that say those things think that what we do effects how God blesses us. Neither is true. But when you already feel like you are broken, being told that you are failing in other areas does not help the situation.
So why do I say all this? I want people to know that my story is amazing. Whether it is common or not, Josh and I tried for three and a half years to have a baby (and were having unprotected sex for years prior to "trying".) So the fact that we could not get pregnant naturally was pretty glaring. We did not jump into IVF. We went through a lot with each other and God to get us to the point of trying IVF. We never felt like we were trying to be God or alter the way God intended for us to have kids. In fact we looked at all options to grow our family as options that God placed here in front of us, and after praying for three months, finally decided on one. The decision to go through infertility was a hard one and was not an easy road for Josh or myself (for those of you who think IVF is kind of the easiest, fastest way to have kids). We had to trust God all the time through this process and we have never felt like it was a bad decision. And we certainly do not feel like this could have happened this first time if we would have just waited a little longer. I think everything we went through the first time was also from God. And now that we are having Baby Thye 2 without all that craziness is just too cool. We couldn't be happier. God met us where we were at in so many ways (so many that I should probably write a whole other blog entry about that). We are floored that we get to experience this as a family, and are very grateful for the things in our life that we do not deserve, including this baby.
Thank you for listening to my ramblings, but I felt like it needed to be said. And if you think you are the target of this blog entry, I assure you that you are not. I have heard these things from sooooo many people that I have kind of lost track. :o) I know most people say things just to say something. They don't really know what to say because they have never been through something like that. Or they just say the things that have become cliche. So I really am not mad at anyone. Just take what I said as my personal testimony. As insight into something that you may or may not know anything about. Plus, if you are even reading this blog it means we love and appreciate you in our lives.
So, please be in touch for much more exciting things, like our new house, summer trips and maybe even some belly pics. :o)
Madelyn is just growing up way too fast. I teeter between wanting her to do "big girl" things and wanting her stay a baby forever. Well today, I think it is safe to say, she is doing big girl things whether I like it or not. M has an imaginary friend and she is potty trained.
The potty training happened out of shear laziness. I knew M was getting low on diapers but my week has been so hectic that I haven;t gotten to the store to buy more. Needless to say, I went to get her dressed yesterday morning and wouldn't you know, I had one diaper left. Wanting to save that diaper for a poopy situation, I decided to use one of the free pull ups a friend had given us. She is a bright girl, so she knew I was not putting on a diaper. I told her it was a pull up and she is not allowed to go potty in the pull up. So we went about our day as planned, just had to be conscience of potty breaks. She was soooooo good. She went before we left for the museum, then she went when we got there. Then she played for about 2 hours, and went when we left. Still no accident. When we got home she was tired and ready for a nap. I asked her if she needed to go potty and she said no. Well, she was right. She did not go potty while she napped. It was only when we started her a bath that she went in her pull up. But I have been told that some moms use the bath water running as a way of getting to kid to pee in the potty initially. So I didn't blame the girl. Then we got her dressed in her jam jams and put the one diaper I had on her. I had this vision of her in 20 minutes hiding in the corner pooping in our last diaper, and me not wanting to go get some more (again, lazy!) I asked her if she needed to go poopy. And she did. Twice. I called the day a success and vowed I would go get diapers first thing tomorrow. I was way too stressed.
So this morning she woke up, barely anything in her diaper, and I got her dressed with her last pull up. Then we headed to Costco for our diaper run. However, when we got there M said to me, "Me not wear diapers anymore." So I took that as a sign and decided to buy pull ups instead. We bought her undies for Christmas so I already had those at home. I just needed some pull ups, just in case... She came home, peed again before her nap and is not sleeping away. Hopefully not peeing the bed.
I am very proud of her. And excited that it wasn't a huge ordeal. I really feel blessed in that. I know she can regress, but that is what the pull ups are for. And I think we will go all undies tomorrow since we are home all day. Although I did ask her if she wanted to go get her big girl bed tomorrow now that she goes pee pee in the potty all the time and she got so excited. So the undies might have to come to IKEA with us. Update on that later.
The imaginary friend is another thing that just surfaced today. First off, imaginary friend's name is girl. So I am assuming she is a girl. All day today she was telling me that girl wanted what she was doing. At breakfast, "Girl wants some". And in the store she was telling her what to do the entire time. If I told her we were going this way, she would turn to girl and say, "Come on. Over here." With her little fingers motioning one way or the other. The little old ladies in Hobby Lobby just through she was adorable. I was just rolling my eyes. She was singing with girl. She was explaining to girl what everything in Hobby Lobby was (like she knows...). And she even asked Girl if she wanted to sit in my cart. She picked girl up, asked her if she wanted to be buckled then quickly told me she wanted to sit next to her. Then at the checkout stand she was having the most hilarious conversation with girl. They were dancing, falling on the floor and at one point she told girl, "We have to go back to mommy." There was a lady near by waiting in the customer service line just laughing at her. She said she just wanted to eat her up. She had two girls at home and she remembered when they had imaginary friends. But the best part was when I was driving home. I was talking to my REAL friend on the phone and I hear M yell, "I want baby back!" There are no babies in my car today since I left the house in a diaper focused hurry. So I looked back and realized she was yelling at Girl. I just laughed. She is a riot.