My Haute Shirt

As I dressed this morning I came to a conclusion, I have to go shopping for clothes that fit me.  I have my go to preggo outfits: a black jersey skirt, a couple of shirts to wear with that skirt, and a few dresses.  However, today they were all dirty and the least dirty outfit was just unappealing to me.  Plus, since it has been getting warmer every day I am annoyed when my legs sweat because they are rubbing together.  Talk about frustration!  So I decided I needed to get some more "basics".  I hit a couple of stores until I found my stride at Tailored for Two.  I walked in and the lady said, "Can I help you find anything?"  To which I replied, "Yes.  I am looking for maternity clothes that aren't ugly, uncomfortable, and a waste of money."  I am just perplexed as to why maternity clothes have to be a completely different style all together.  Why can't they just make clothes that look like normal clothes, but have a little more room in the needed areas, mainly belly.  I tell you what, if I had any talent in sewing what so ever, I would be making my own clothes!  I have much better style than all these so called "maternity designers".  I told this to the poor little sales lady too.  Luckily she was nice, because I was just fed up with looking fat and being uncomfortable.  I can take one or the other, but not both!  So as I looked around the store I found a section of tank tops that I just fell in love with.  The brand is called two chicks and they are basically ribbed tanks with cute little preggo sayings on them.  I picked the one that said "tickled pink" since we are having a girl, and hello it was pink!  After trying it on, I was in love.  I know I am going to be miserable in the 100 degree weather, so little tanks that cover the belly will be nice.  So I went to grab another and found one that said "It's not a pot belly, it's a haute belly".  Haute is spelled out in pink cursive letters.  Super cute!  But as I got in the car to go to the gym Josh looked at my shirt and said, "I don't get it.  Your belly is French?"  Oh boys...  I explained to him that "haute couture" are clothes that are specifically made for that person.  They are perfectly made and stunning to see in person.  Since that is so far from the reality of my maternity wardrobe, I just thought it was funny.  I wish I had money to have clothes made for me!  Dressing this foreign body has proven to be much more difficult than I thought.  Anyway, we hit up Subway after working out and the boy behind the counter was reading my shirt out loud and just stopped when he came to the word "haute".  He said, "I don't get it."  Josh said to him, "I don't think anyone does."  So I turned around and asked the lady standing next in line to read my shirt.  She looked up and said, "That's cute!"  So as we walked out of Subway I told Josh, "See, other women at least know what it means."  To which Josh replied, "So let me get this straight.  You wish you had couture clothes because you are struggling to find something to wear in regular stores.  So to express your high end taste you decided to buy a wife beater."  That is why I married him.  I seriously laughed for like five minutes!